Survival rules for UNternational people...

• I'm afraid it's purely business…nothing personal.
• The unbearable lightness of paranoia…be afraid, be very afraid.
• Never believe what you're told about your job situation! Trust only in written statements, specially if they come accompanied by a bank transfer.
• Always, always, always look for a job. The minute you stop looking for it, your contract will not be renewed and you'll find yourself unemployed!
• Writing job applications can always be done most effectively after a crappy work-related meeting.
• Timing is everything so make sure you're at the right place at the right time - everytime!
• Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.
• Acronyms are meant to multiply exponentially. IYCBTJT.
• If you want them to know there's steak for dinner, then you have to let them hear it sizzle.
• Get to know the clouds and you'll always get ahead of the weather.
• Ignore adversity. Or better still, sleep with it, then ignore it.
• Jokes, sarcasm and good laughs will make your journey worth it, even when the journey is going really bad!
• Be friends with the admin assistant… specially if she is the one to boss your boss
• Only change clothes in your office, if you're sure that nobody will knock on the door when you're topless!
• "Go dutch" on your calendar (this will avoid double bookings and other embarrassing moments). If it's on outlook it exists, if not…. Tampis!
• When in doubt or feeling ignorant, ask google about it. If your answer is not there… forget about the question!
• Larger than life is just the right size.
• Breathe in…breathe out…inhale…exhale…

These were written together with a friend,.... the list has more than 3 pages now, but even with all the rules we continue to struggle.... a lot!!!!